Real World Changes...

One of the most exciting days of my life is about to happen. I am going to look into his eyes, kiss those cheeks, and put my arms around my sweet boy. It has been almost 17 months of waiting and I am over the moon excited.

For Madden...his life is about to get turned upside down. He isn't going to understand why this family showed up to his agency, started kissing him, and why they speak words he doesn't understand. He isn't going to understand when he is placed into our arms and separated from his foster mom that his world is forever changed. The one that has loved him and cared for his every need since he was 5 weeks old will no longer be there to comfort him. He is going to feel lost, alone, sad...and his heart will grieve. This loss will be so tough for him. Our greatest day ever will be one of his hardest days ever.

That breaks this momma's heart.

We know it's the reality of the situation. We are soooooo very grateful for his foster family and for all they have done to get him ready to live with us. There are no words to describe just how thankful I am for the love and care they have given him. I can't imagine just how much their hearts will hurt when they said goodbye.

I need some tissues already.

When Madden comes home, we are going to keep his world very small. Very small. We want him to be able to grieve and then start to attach to his new family. I read this online the other day & it really spoke to what we're about to go through.

“Stay home. I mean it. Stay the heck home. Cancel your calendars. Pull out of everything you’re involved in. Temporarily quit your small group and your Bible study and your volunteer position at church on Wednesdays and your gym classes. Katy, bar the door. Circle the wagons with your little family and hunker down. Do not take your newbie to Target. Do not drag them to public places. Do not spend two hours in the car running errands with them. Keep the moving parts to an absolute minimum.”

You can read the post in its entirety here: http://give1save1.com/2012/03/05/guest-post-by-jen-hatmaker/

In order for Madden to attach to us properly, we have to keep him cocooned at home. We won't be going out to dinner, out to shop, or able to have anyone over for awhile. We have waited a long, long time to get him home & we want him to have the best transition possible. That means no visitors until he's ready (most likely a month or so.) We are so anxious to show him off, but it is going to have to wait. (Side note...anyone wanting to see him for a few minutes can meet us at the airport when we arrive. Once we are home, we're home.)

Once we give the green light that we are ready for visitors and play dates, we would love to introduce him to you! But, we will take it slow and let Madden take the lead. It if overwhelms him, we will hold off a little longer.

Everything I've read and researched has stressed this over and over for a healthy attachment. We need him to learn that we are his parents. He is going to "mommy shop" when we are out because he will be looking for his foster mommy that he lost. I need him to learn that I am mommy & that I will be the one to meet his needs.

So, when the first visits happen, hugs and kisses can only come from mom, dad, Mason & Millie for awhile. High fives would be very appropriate to do with him, but signs of affection need to just be from us for awhile. Also, we will be the only ones to hold him. Again, we have to have him learn that we are mom and dad.

I promise we do want to share him and let others cuddle with him...but we do want to do what is best for our little guy and give him some much needed time to adjust and attach.

Many have asked if there's anything they can do once we get home. Dinners would be great! Just text us when you're on the way over and one of us can meet you at the door! Also, Mason & Millie would love trips out of the house! They aren't going to like being kept at home for a month, so fun things for them would be wonderful! They are going through lots of transitions too. Watching a brother grieve is going to be hard. I'm all for making Mason & Millie feel special with play dates!

Once he gets home, it's going to be tough. Jet lag, new time zones, new food, new smells, new language...he has a lot that is about to hit him. I am praying that we will be able to help him adjust well. Please pray for us. Pray that we will attach well to him & that we will make wise decisions for him as he is home. We are excited...and yet, so scared and nervous!

Thank you so much for all of your love and prayers!!!! They have meant so much to us during this long, hard journey to get him home!